Help please, advice re this.?

I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I think you should talk to someone professional about your problems. I am not suggesting in any way that you are 'mentally ill', but I think it is important that you recognise that the problems you are facing are becoming too much for you to deal with at the moment, and it is upsetting you enormously. If you live in the UK, there are certainly free counselling services that are worth checking out. Look at www.counselling-directory.org.uk for example. Don't feel bad about this. Everybody has problems at some point in their life and many, many people seek professional help for these problems. I'm sure it will help you to answer some of your questions and work through some of the difficulties you are experiencing. Take care of yourself, and don't ume that no-one understands, or that everyone is against you. There are many lovely people out there, and I hope you find friendship and happiness in the very near future. x